The Compassion Book
LEARN THE CONCEPTS, STORIES AND PRACTICES THAT HAVE IGNITED A WORLDWIDE MOVEMENT OF EMPOWERED PEACEMAKERS IN OVER 115 COUNTRIES.
Key Concepts:
-Cultivating “Needs Awareness”
-Empathy + Self Empathy — The Breath of Compassion
-Understanding Anger
-Beliefs+ Needs
-Creating Dialogue: Making Life More Wonderful with Requests
-Saying NO: Creating Life-Serving Boundaries
“The Compassion Book explores foundational concepts and practices that help us understand what engenders compassion and what blocks it.” -Thom Bond
Reviews
“Best compassion book/course” - Great course and happy to find this in book form. Had been doing the year long online course and this has everything except the online calls. Have several other books on compassion but this is by far the best one out there for recognizing and changing your behaviors/language/responses and understanding other people.— JewelL
I have been following Thom's online class and recommending it to everyone, for several years. I get something extremely useful and life enriching every single time I read one of his lessons, even if I have read it several times before. I bought 10 copies of this book to give away! One friend began to share it with her family and found it immediately helpful and transformative. (The first lesson was so deeply touching) --Atina“I love The Compassion Book”- It is well written, easy to read, and is filled with over 50 heartwarming stories and examples of how one can choose more compassion to find inner peace in the midst of life's challenges. The exercises are easy to perform and directly lead to increased self-awareness of thought and action. The Compassion Book has been an essential guide to improving my relationships and life. -RamapoLake
“Like the clarity”- I've taken Thom's online class before. This book is essentially a compilation of the 52 weekly lessons. It clearly describes the philosophy of recognizing that everything someone does or says is in an attempt to fulfill a need, and then provides a set of skills to listen and speak compassionately. It is based on Marshall Rosenberg's work and is one of the best skill guides on NVC I have seen. — Wise
Neuroscience supports NVC” - This is why I bring Thom's NVC training into the workplace--and everywhere I go--because practicing empathy has made me a better person, thanks to the training in this book and within Thom's online community (compassioncourse.org) teaching the same. -BeV
If you want to improve your understanding and skill at being humane, Thoms book is a must read (and then practice). Through simple, clear yet profound explanations, personal stories, and practice suggestions it fully hits the mark. If only everyone were taught this from birth! —JDOT
This book is a transcript of the online Compassion Course, making it easy to connect with all the lessons. It is on my couch, ready to pick up and read a section or paragraph, as inpiration. As my skill increases, so does the quality of my interactions with others and myself. -Deanne Bednar
“Practical, heartwarming, funny, inspiring, clear!”- This book is a life-changer. Whether you are new to Nonviolent Communication, or a veteran in practicing compassion, Thom Bond's writing and perspective provides unique insight, relatable stories, and most of all, a practical and clear map to support the reader in integrating a more compassionate consciousness. If you want to radically transform your relationships from the inside out, this book is for you. -Mary
“….it helped me identify where to go within myself to find the answers to some seriously important life questions like "What do I want to do with my life?", "What's my purpose here?". Furthermore in terms of helping create connection and understanding with close people in my life I give so many thanks to Thom because this book brought back friendships and connections that I thought were lost forever. The chapters I would say are short and to the point. The assignments in every chapter help me see how to actually practice this. One thing is for sure, whenever I have trouble about something like "How do I understand my Father who keeps saying things that I don't like?!" I can go back to the back to the book and get some serious help with things like this….” — IntheCity
(Read More Reviews)
In-Depth Book Review:
The Compassion Book: Lessons from the Compassion Course
Compassion Book: Lessons from the Compassion Course by Thom Bond is a transformative guide to cultivating compassion in our daily lives and relationships. Bond, a student of Marshall Rosenberg (founder of Nonviolent Communication), builds on his mentor's teachings, offering a fresh and accessible framework for understanding human behavior, resolving conflicts, and fostering deeper connections through the lens of Needs Awareness. This book presents practical lessons for developing compassion, not as a vague ideal, but as a systematic practice that can fundamentally change how we interact with the world.
A Practical Guide to Compassion
What makes The Compassion Book stand out is its focus on real-world application. Each chapter introduces a key concept—ranging from identifying needs to practicing self-empathy—and provides specific exercises for integrating that concept into daily life. Bond begins by introducing the core premise that all human behavior is an attempt to meet needs, whether it's a small, personal action or a larger, societal one. This foundational idea sets the stage for the book’s exploration of compassion as a tool for better understanding others, resolving conflicts, and improving relationships.
Bond’s approach is refreshingly pragmatic. He provides step-by-step instructions for how to develop compassion through mindful listening, reframing judgments, and translating our emotions into actionable needs. This structure makes the book both instructive and actionable, giving readers the confidence to apply these lessons immediately in their lives. Bond encourages readers to carry a journal, practice empathy, and reflect on the deeper needs underlying both positive and negative emotions.
The Power of Needs Awareness
At the heart of Bond’s method is the idea of Needs Awareness. Unlike traditional communication methods that focus on blame or judgment, Needs Awareness helps us identify the unmet needs driving our behaviors and emotions. This awareness allows for a shift in perspective: instead of focusing on what is wrong, we focus on understanding the needs that are not being met. This insight opens the door to connection and empathy, making it easier to resolve conflicts without escalating tensions.
Bond’s examples throughout the book illustrate how transformative Needs Awareness can be. For instance, in one of the personal stories shared in the book, Bond describes a conversation with his father that, in the past, would have devolved into frustration and conflict. However, by shifting his focus from criticism to his father’s underlying need for care and connection, Bond was able to defuse the tension and deepen their relationship. This kind of shift—from blame to understanding—is central to the book’s approach, and Bond demonstrates its power in a variety of contexts, from personal relationships to broader social conflicts.
Empathy as the Cornerstone of Connection
A major theme of the book is empathy, which Bond describes as the "breath of compassion." He explores how empathy helps us connect not just with others but also with ourselves. By practicing self-empathy—understanding our own feelings and needs—we become better equipped to offer empathy to others. Bond emphasizes that empathy is more than just listening; it is an active practice of tuning into another person’s experience and identifying the feelings and needs behind their words.
Throughout The Compassion Book, Bond contrasts empathy with other forms of communication that, while well-intentioned, often fail to create connection. He explains how offering advice, fixing problems, or comparing experiences can sometimes shut down empathy, as these responses shift the focus away from understanding the other person’s feelings and needs. Instead, Bond offers concrete techniques for practicing empathy, such as paraphrasing what someone has said or simply offering them the space to be heard.
Transforming Judgments into Understanding
One of the most impactful lessons in The Compassion Book is the practice of transforming judgments into understanding. Bond encourages readers to view judgments—both of ourselves and others—not as fixed truths, but as expressions of unmet needs. For example, if we find ourselves thinking, “They’re being selfish,” we can instead ask ourselves, “What need of mine is not being met in this moment?” This simple shift in mindset can transform conflict into a conversation that fosters understanding.
This concept extends to the way we see others. Rather than labeling someone’s behavior as “wrong” or “bad,” Bond invites us to ask, “What needs are they trying to meet with this behavior?” By focusing on the underlying needs driving actions, we can move away from blame and toward connection, fostering a more compassionate view of those around us.
A Blueprint for Global Peace
What’s particularly inspiring about The Compassion Book is Bond’s belief that this practice of compassion has the power to create not only personal transformation but also societal change. In Bond’s view, Needs Awareness and empathy are tools that can help us break the cycles of conflict and violence that plague our world. He envisions a future where humans evolve into what he calls Homo Compass—a species defined by compassion, cooperation, and connection.
Bond’s vision is not just idealistic—it’s grounded in practical action. He emphasizes that the practice of compassion is accessible to everyone, regardless of culture, background, or circumstance. The book has already been translated into 19 languages and is being taught in over 120 countries, a testament to its universal relevance and appeal. Bond’s teachings have proven effective in a variety of settings, from personal relationships to conflict zones, offering a powerful framework for creating peace at both the personal and global levels.
Final Thoughts
The Compassion Book by Thom Bond is more than just a guide to better communication; it is a blueprint for transforming how we relate to ourselves and others. With its focus on Needs Awareness and empathy, the book provides readers with practical tools for resolving conflicts, deepening relationships, and fostering a more compassionate world. Bond’s clear writing, engaging stories, and actionable exercises make this a must-read for anyone seeking to create more compassion in their life and the world around them.
In a time when conflict and division seem to dominate, The Compassion Book offers a hopeful and practical path forward. It is a powerful reminder that compassion is not just a feeling—it is a skill that can be developed and practiced by anyone, with the potential to change our world for the better. Everyone should read this book.The Compassion Book was born from the Compassion Course. Learn More and Register for 2020!